Don’t put your memoir on your bucket list.
A “bucket list” is a great idea—IF you plan on ticking things off that list by actually doing them! Too often, though, a bucket list is relegated to the portion of our brain for long-term dreams—the future.
Any and every item you have penciled in on your bucket list deserves not just a little hopeful dreaming every now and then, but a plan—a way to make your future dreams your present reality!
So, research that trip you’ve always wanted to take to Spain—then turn your research into an itinerary and an international ticket. Want to become more conversant in wine-speak? Sign up for an introductory class at your local community college, then invite a few friends over for treats and a tasting. Want to write your memoir? Pick up a pen and…what?
How to start your memoir, now.
If you dream of passing on your stories but don’t start now, you won’t ever get to it.
And it’s important: It’s important to you, because crafting your experiences into a narrative can help you make sense of your story, find meaning in your life, and navigate future choices with greater intention; it’s important for your family members because your experiences—especially those that demonstrate resilience—can help strengthen them, and, well, because they love you (tell me you wouldn’t be overcome with emotion to receive a book of your parents’ or grandparents’ stories written just for you?!).
But chances are your dream of writing your memoir will remain on your bucket list if you don’t know where to start. So, start here:
Decide if you’re up for writing your stories.
If you’re comfortable writing, then get yourself a notebook just for your memoir, or create a new file on your laptop. If the idea of writing scares the bejeezus out of you, then simply decide to speak and record your stories instead.Consider what part(s) of your life are worth telling.
This one may take a day—or even a week—but you shouldn’t be paralyzed by the choices here. Maybe you write a life timeline or follow the guidance here about brainstorming your life, then choose from among the ideas. Or maybe you just start with your most compelling memories—the ones that come to mind often or that you’ve told verbally around the dinner table for years. Just remember: Just because you write it doesn’t mean it will necessarily make the cut of what gets into your final memoir; and just because you start here doesn’t mean you can’t veer over there later. The idea is to be thoughtful and intentional about choosing a memoir theme or scope without letting the task delay your actual writing unnecessarily.Imagine your book done, then make a plan for it to get done.
Take just a moment to visualize your finished memoir. Let it soak in: Yes, it’s possible; yes, you can do it. Then forget about that finished book lest the blank page before you prove too daunting. In terms of making a plan, keep it simple—schedule a couple of hours a week, or whatever you can spare, for writing. Then, honor that time on your calendar and schedule around it.Begin writing—now.
Seriously, right now. When you finish reading this post, jot down a sentence, then another. If you want to begin with some phrases and initial brainstorming, fine…but write a full paragraph of autobiographical writing straight out of the gate.
There are plenty of other steps I could have inserted in there:
researching best methods for writing a memoir
reading other memoirs as inspiration
knowing who the audience for your memoir will be
checking your old journals for ideas
gathering photographs to use as memory prompts…and on and on.
And while all of those things are valid ways of making your memoir better, they’re also great excuses for not starting! Perfection, as they say, is the enemy of “done.”
So do what you need to in order to commit to starting your memoir. Print out the list of four actions above and check them off as you go. Or add them into your phone schedule or paper planner so time is blocked off (otherwise I can assure you more “urgent” matters will take their place!). But foremost among these steps: Pick up your pen or open your laptop and start writing.
If you really need to procrastinate a little more (!) and want to explore some ways to make your memoir great, check out these helpful posts: