How making a “legacy list” can set stories—and guilt—free

Things can hold memories. But those same things—maybe even more so because they hold memories—can feel like a burden.

Rather than let the stuff of your past overwhelm you—with clutter, with guilt—let’s look at a few ways to take control of the things so you can focus on the stories associated with them.

Have you ever seen the PBS show Legacy List with Matt Paxton? I hadn’t until fairly recently, but I love it! TV promotions describe the series as exploring the hidden treasures within our homes: “As millions of Baby Boomers downsize their own homes or settle the estates of family members, they will discover the most important museum in the world is in their family home.” In each episode Paxton and his expert team of organizers and historians clean through one family’s home with the intent of uncovering the most special things within—what he calls a legacy list.

“A legacy list is really just a list of items that help you tell your family history,” Paxton says.

“Lose the stuff, keep the memories” is a mantra for many downsizers or minimalists, but you don’t have to be either of those things to want to get rid of at least some of your stuff. Consider it a courtesy for the next generation (I speak from experience when I say going through my mother’s things after she died was not an easy task). And think of it, too, as a way to ensure that the things that really matter get preserved, not discarded.

Make your own “legacy list.”

1 - Write your legacy list.

Start with a list of items you think you want to find. Watch the episode of Legacy List below for some inspiration, or think about the following questions to help you identify things that may hold meaning within your house:

• Are there items associated with specific family members that help tell their story?

• Are there certain items that were used by ancestors that are still functional?

• Are there handmade items among your treasures?

• Do you have handwritten recipes that have been passed down through generations?

• What items, if any, hold historical value, or perhaps help tell the story of the region?

  
  Some examples:

In the episode below, “Home on the Range,” the family matriarch treasures her mother’s early handwritten school notebooks, which symbolize her intelligence and the sacrifice she made of quitting school at the age of 13 to care for her siblings.

Things don’t need to be big or monumental to be imbued with meaning! I, for example, think of my mom every time I bake and use her small offset spatula; and I gave a friend who loves to knit my grandmother’s collection of knitting needles so they would continue to be used with love.

I adore my mother’s chimes, and rather than stow them away in a box, I consider them an everyday heirloom and smile every time I hear their song from my backyard. I also cherish the crocheted blankets she made for me when I was away at college, and the ring I inherited with her birthstone (which I wear often).

2 - Allow yourself to be surprised.

There will be things you “just know” are packed away that you can’t find, and others that you never knew existed. Remind yourself that it’s okay for some things to have gone missing; you can write down your memories associated with them so those are not lost, too, and even search for photos that might represent the items in a more concrete way.

3 - Go beyond finding the things on your legacy list—tell their stories, too.

When Paxton asks the family matriarch why she gets such a sense of comfort from her ancestors’ stuff, she says, “I guess it’s just all a part of me…. I think that if I let go of the stuff, the memories will fade, too.”

Those memories will fade as time goes on, though, if they are not recorded in some permanent way. With each new generation, the experiences and firsthand memories become further removed.

So grab a pen (or hit “record” on a digital audio or video recorder) and tell those stories! Many pieces may need explanation (how was that plow yoke used? for instance). Some may have important documentation associated with them (a dated certificate of authenticity, for example). But mostly, strive for heartfelt stories (for a recipe—how the smell alone alerted you to the holiday and Poppy’s presence; for a photograph—when it was taken and what the context was…and why it holds a special place in your memory).

And take a lesson from the show: Interview members of every generation to hear about their memories and associations with the items on your family legacy list. As you’ll hear in this episode, even the grandchildren may surprise you with distinct and meaningful memories.

As Paxton reminds viewers, if an item is properly chronicled, it will be cherished forever.

Watch an episode from the recent season of Legacy List with Matt Paxton below, or browse all available episodes on PBS.