“Which life writing book is best for me?”

From the many, many craft books on my bookshelves, these are the five I consider essential for anyone endeavoring to write about their life.

If there’s a book out there about how to write memoir, autobiography, personal essays, or narrative nonfiction, I’ve probably read it. There are plenty that may be worth a read, but there are only a handful that I would consider essential for every life writer’s bookshelf.

Here I aim to classify my top five life-writing titles by who each one is best for. Click if you are…

• a journalist or student aiming to up your personal essay game

• an aspiring memoir writer

• anyone hungry for personal narrative guidance, including writers of every level

• a newbie life writer

• anyone who wants to make sure their story is told the way they want 

And before we get to the heart of things below, I’ve written elsewhere about some books that are great choices for other scenarios, too; find those recommendations by clicking if…

• you want to write fiction informed by your own life experience

• you want to write an ethical will (also known as a legacy letter)

• you seek compelling reasons to move forward with your memoir writing in the face of criticism, doubt, or struggle

“To Show and To Tell: The Craft of Literary Nonfiction” by Phillip Lopate

Best for:

Journalists and students aiming to up their personal essay game

in brief:

While the book jacket touts this title as a “nuts-and-bolts guide to writing literary nonfiction,” I would argue that it is more a collection of insightful lessons from this expert’s vast experience rather than a how-to guide. Widely regarded as one of the best personal essayists around, Phillip Lopate has here collected his ruminations and conclusions about the genre of personal narrative as a whole. If you’re in the mood for a well-informed, sometimes cheeky, always smart exploration of writing literary nonfiction, then this book’s for you. It’s an apt choice for anyone wanting to finesse their writing skills, to hone their craft, and to luxuriate in the history of the genre; if you’re in search of a book with more direct guidance, I recommend one of the last two entries on this list instead. [To Show and To Tell: The Craft of Literary Nonfiction, Free Press, 2013]

Author’s credentials: 

Phillip Lopate directs the graduate nonfiction program at Columbia University. Among the 12 books he has written, three of them are personal essay collections.

“Handling the Truth: On the Writing of Memoir” by Beth Kephart

Best for:

Aspiring memoir writers

in brief:

“Teaching memoir is teaching vulnerability is teaching voice is teaching self,” Beth Kephart writes, a fair summation of her approach to teaching, in the classroom and in print. As I have written in a previous review, here the author “spends a good portion of the book on what she calls ‘not-yet-writing-memoir work’—preparatory ideas, tapping memories, conjuring beauty, exploring diversions, finding your story,” but she also delves into the nitty-gritty of getting words down on paper, of editing and honing and creating art from experience. Handling the Truth is a must-read for anyone at any stage in the memoir writing process. [Handling the Truth: On the Writing of Memoir, Gotham Books, 2013]

Author’s credentials:

Beth Kephart is the award-winning author of more than 30 books, including multiple memoirs. She is a longtime writing teacher—of creative nonfiction as a professor at the University of Pennsylvania, and as co-founder of Juncture Workshops.

Bonus:

If you relate more to the word “aspiring” than “memoirist,” you may want to check out Kephart’s companion workbook, Tell the Truth. Make It Matter (CreateSpace, 2017), in which prompts and exercises put you on the path to remembering and meaning-making.

“Your Life as Story” by Tristine Rainer

Best for:

Anyone hungry for personal narrative guidance, including writers of every level

in brief:

When I first encountered this book years ago, it was a loaner from my local library. By its due date it had amassed a ridiculous number of yellow sticky notes hanging off the pages, each marking a passage I felt was revelatory or essential. Needless to say, I bought my own copy soon thereafter.

First published in 1997, this book’s subtitle and grounding premise—“discovering the ‘new autobiography’”—might seem off-putting. By now, I hope that we no longer need to define and justify memoir’s raison d’être, nor the assumption that it is “available to everyone.” That said, get past any reservations you may have about the book being dated, because it is chock-full of concrete writing advice, real inspiration, and helpful exercises. Rainer herself encourages readers to jump around, to use the table of contents and index to navigate the book to find what they are needing at that moment in their writing journey. As she says, “The purpose of this book is to give you the tools to see story in your life, and then, if you choose, to give it shape in writing so it can be shared.” So grab your highlighter and a blank journal and dig in! [Your Life as Story: Discovering the ‘New Autobiography’ and Writing Memoir as Literature, Tarcher/Putnam, 1998]

Author’s credentials:

Tristine Rainer’s first book, The New Diary, was written in 1977 and is still the bestselling book on journal writing, according to Amazon. She has taught writing at the university level for decades, and was a founder of the Center for Autobiographic Studies.

“Writing About Your Life: A Journey Into the Past” by William Zinsser

Best for:

Newbie life writers and family historians

in brief:

“My purpose in this book is to give you the permission and the tools” to write about your life, Zinsser puts forth in the introduction. His conversational, warm writing style is accessible and supportive. Readers learn about his writing choices—decisions he made about tone, language, structure, and all those fundamental elements of craft—as he takes them along on a wonderfully enjoyable ride of personal storytelling and instruction. He calls this a “double journey into memoir—yours and mine.” In addition to concrete tips for how to write your life story, Zinsser delivers hefty doses of confidence bolstering and inspiration by example. [Writing About Your Life: A Journey Into the Past, Marlowe, 2004]

Author’s credentials:

William Zinsser was a writer, editor, and teacher. His enduring classic, On Writing Well, grew out of a course he taught at Yale. Some of his other books include Inventing the Truth: The Art and Craft of Memoir and Extraordinary Lives: The Art and Craft of American Biography.

“Yours Truly: An Obituary Writer’s Guide to Telling Your Story” by James R. Hagerty

Best for:

Anyone who wants to make sure their story is told the way they want 

in brief:

“When is the best time to get started? Before it’s too late. How about right now?” James Hagerty proffers in the introduction to this book. It’s advice I give often, as well, and the best part about his book Yours Truly is that he equips you with lots of straightforward writing advice and carefully selected first-person pieces as examples so you can hit the ground running. You may be surprised that a book with “obituary” in the subtitle is infused with humor, but make no mistake, this is a book about honoring life in all its weird and wonderful glory—not only a great read, but a model to write your own. [Yours Truly: An Obituary Writer’s Guide to Telling Your Story, Kensington Books, 2022]

Author’s credentials:

James R. Hagerty worked for more than four decades as a reporter and bureau chief at the Wall Street Journal and was for some time the paper’s only full-time obituary writer.

bonus

Check out this earlier post for a deeper dive, with five life writing (and life) lessons derived from Hagerty’s book.